You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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