Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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