I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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