If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
