yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
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we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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