I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
