So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
