I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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