I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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