GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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