I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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