the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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