how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Everclear isn't food dammit
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
