Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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