Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
