and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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