i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am available for nakedness
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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