That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
