My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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