I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
