We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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