Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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