Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
