bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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