Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
