I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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