im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize