But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize