For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
