Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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