what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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