I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
