can u get pink eye on your cock?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
