Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
