I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
