how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
