Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
