Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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