well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
After last night, I could never be a politician.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
