I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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