it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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