Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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