Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
