So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
