She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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