guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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