Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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