Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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