i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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