Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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