We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
