why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
