We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
