i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize